...is how my life feels at the moment.

I'm certain of the direction that I want my life to take, but I'm not quite sure how to get there. Although one of my very best friends Jacques who has been there for me throughout thick and thin for the past 5 years is making things easier. Not only by being there for me yet again when I need him, but possibly helping to make a dream of mine into a reality. I don't want to talk about it much though because I don't want to get my hopes up, and it seems like the more I get excited about it, the more things tend to not work out the way I want. So I'll just leave it at that.

So since my last update, I've moved back home to Oklahoma, though it's only a temporary stay. And I'd forgotten how many reminders of bad memories lurk here in the shadows. Which is one reason I want to get as far away as I can... start over in a way, in completely unfamiliar territory... Well not COMPLETELY unfamiliar.. but at least somewhere that isn't here.

Oh and I've been 26 for almost a week now. My birthday was horrible, although I feel bad saying that because my mom and Jacques did make an effort to make it special. It's just that I was reminded how I'm of no importance whatsoever to a certain family member... and it just hurt. Maybe it wouldn't have stung so deep if it hadn't been my birthday as well. But it's just something that I have to eventually get over and come to the realization that he'll never change.

Things with my dad have gotten a bit worse as well. Ironically, just before Father's Day coming up...and I don't have the best of feelings towards him at the moment so he'll most likely only be seeing one of his children this weekend.

The motivation to get back into drawing just wasn't strong enough either. There's alot going on in my life right now, but I'm going to try and get that back on track soon.

** EDIT: Is the mood feature not working for anyone else? I click on it and the pop-up box just never loads...